Scenes from the Cullens
by lbj
Summary: Some snapshot scenes from the Cullen's lives.  Hopefully funny.
1. Scene One

Scene One

Int./Cullen's House/Day 

_The Cullens are all sitting on a couch staring at the others with confusion. Only Carlisle, Alice and Edward know what is happening. Bella sits next to Edward and has a look of bewilderment on her face._

Bella: What's going on here?

Edward: You don't want to know.

_Alice giggles and Edward throws her a angry look. Bella seems to be more puzzled._

Bella: Alice will you tell me?

Alice: Sorry, Bella. I already saw what's going to happen and I'm not going to be the one to tell you.

Bella: _Turns to Edward frustrated. _What's going on?

_Edward looked embarrassed and shakes his head._

Bella: Emmett? _She turns to the largest one in the room. _Will you tell me?

Emmett: Sorry, but I don't know what's going on.

Carlisle: _Clears his throat. _Well, um…Alice, can't you make the others leave? This is sort of a private matter between Bella and Edward. Why are you making the others watch?

Alice: Trust me…they will enjoy this conversation.

Bella: _Frustrated. _What is going on?

Carlisle: Um…I was going to talk about your relationship with…

Edward: There's no need.

Carlisle: _Looks disapprovingly at Edward who appears to be uncomfortable. _I think there is a need. _Turns to Bella. _How far has you relationship with Edward…

Edward: Please Carlisle!

_The other are all laughing other than a motherly looking woman and Bella, who is bright red and stuttering._

Carlisle: I understand that your siblings have all engaged in…relationships, but Edward, you must know that Bella is only human and she is…

_Bella looks as if she is about to die of humiliation_.

Edward: We're leaving. _He stand up quickly and takes a mortified Bella in his arms._

Emmett: No don't!_ Laughs more._ This…is…so…funny.

_Edward growls and runs out of the room leaving the rest of his siblings in laughter._

Carlisle: _Turns to the woman next to him_. Was it something I said?

**It would never happen…but I found if funny. Was it?**


	2. Scene Two

Scene Two:

_Int./ Forks High School/ Day_

_Many teenagers are sitting on desks and talking loudly. Bella walks into the room followed by Edward who is carrying her books. Mike gets off his desk and comes over to Bella. Edward glares at him._

Mike: Hey, Bella!

Bella: Hi, Mike. How did you do on the last English paper?

Mike: _Looks embarrassed. _Not so good…how 'bout you?

Bella: I did pretty well. I like Shakespeare.

_Edward glares harder at Mike as if he had just said something offensive._

Mike: You like Shakespeare? That's weird.

Bella: _Looks hurt. _Really?

Mike: Oh no! Not at all! _Begins to babble. _Shakespeare is great you know. I was just saying how it is weird when you get good grades in English…not that you normally don't! Don't get me wrong, but the teacher grades really hard. You must be really good at English to do so well. Do you think you could tutor me or something?

Bella: _Grins. _Sure…anytime.

Mike: _Looks astonished at first but then smiles happily. _Really? How about after school?

Edward: _Steps in front of Bella slightly. _Not after school…we are doing something then.

Mike: Okay…_steps back away from Edward _Maybe tomorrow then…or at lunch.

Edward: _glares. _Tomorrow won't work either and pretty much any day…

Bella: Lunch would be great!

_Mike looks confusedly between the two of them before smiling. _

Mike: All right. Lunch it is.

_The teacher enters the classroom and Edward grumpily walks back to his seat. Bella follows watching him amusedly._

Bella: _whispering _Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed or something?

_Edward laughs quietly._

Edward: No…but you should have heard his thoughts about you and him. I was surprised he didn't ask you to help him study biology.

Bella: What do you mean? _She tilts her head to the side._

Edward: Pay attention.

_Edward faces forward and Bella eyes him before turning back to the lecture._

_Ext./Outside in the School Courtyard/Noon_

_Bella and Mike are sitting down with a pile of papers spread out in front of them. Edward watches them from behind. He glares at Mike but whenever he watches Bella his expression softens. Jessica is eyeing Mike as if his is a piece of candy._

Bella: So by this, Shakespeare is trying to say that they love each other.

Mike: Why don't they say 'I love you, let's get married' or whatever and get it over with?

_Bella sighs._

Bella: If he said that it wouldn't be as powerful. The language is beautiful…like poetry.

_Mike mutters something and Edward glares at him even more._

Mike: I hate poetry.

Bella: _Looks sad and disappointed. _I like it.

Mike: _Looks at Bella. _I didn't mean it. I really do like poetry. But not some. Do you know what I mean?

Bella: _laughs. _Sure, Mike.

_Mike tries to slip his arm around Bella's waist but Edward throws an eraser at him. Mike turns around while rubbing his back to look at Edward. Edward is ignoring him innocently._

Bella: Mike? Are you okay? You look like you are mad about something.

_Edward snorts._

Mike: I'm fine. _He rubs his back._

Bella: That's good then. Let's get back to Shakespeare.

Mike: _Distracted. _Yeah, Shakespeare.

_Bella looks at him confused for a moment, before handing him a piece of paper._

Bella: What else don't you get about Shakespeare?

Mike: Um…that part. _He points to a piece of paper under Bella's hand and touches hers briefly. Edward walks over and sits pointedly in between Bella and Mike._

Edward: Mind if I join you? _Looks at Mike challengingly._

Mike: Whatever…I have to go anyways…I've got to uh…._he looks around and spots Jessica. _I promised Jess I'd meet her. Got to go.

_He walks off towards a happy looking Jessica._

Bella: Is there something you aren't telling me, Edward?

_Edward looks at her innocently._

Edward: Nope. Not at all. I do want to hear what you think about Shakespeare though.

**Unlikely again. Edward isn't this jealous. Maybe next I will do something with Jake.**


	3. Scene Three

Scene Three

_Ext./ La Push beach/ Evening_

_Jacob and Bella are walking down the La Push beach while holding hands. They head over to a log and sit down on it. Jacob removes his hand from Bella's and slips his arm around her and pulls her close. She doesn't object._

Bella: It's so beautiful here.

Jacob: _looking at Bella_ It is.

Bella: Do you remember when we first met here?

_Jacob chuckles._

Jacob: How could I forget?

Bella: We were right her on this log….our log.

Jacob: I like the sound of that…our log.

Bella: It is sort of ours in a way. We met here, you told me stories here…

Jacob: You found out they were true here.

_Bella shakes her head._

Bella: No. I found out when I was dreaming about you. I told you that I knew they were true here.

_Jacob looks off to the shore. Bella keeps her eyes on him. There is a momentary pause in the dialogue._

Jacob: Do you dream about me a lot?

Bella: _Smiling. _Only about every night.

_A giant black wolf comes up behind them and pushes them. Jacob isn't affected and looks at the wolf annoyed, but Bella falls over. Jacob grabs Bella and growls at the wolf._

Jacob: Why'd you do that, Sam? _Looks at the wolf angrily._

_The wolf morphs into a human._

Sam: You two looked so cute there. I had to. _Smirks at them. _Besides, you know that there is no PDA allowed.

Jacob: It was private until you came along. _Turns to Bella. _Are you okay?

_Bella nods mutely and turns a deep shade of red._

Jacob: Look, Sam! You've embarrassed her. _Bella blushes more. _And what's with this no PDA rule? What about you and Emily?

Sam: We're the exception of course.

_Jacob rolls his eyes._

Jacob: _Muttering. _Of course you're the exception.

_Sam ignores him and turned to Bella_.

Sam: Whoa there! Are you sure you can breathe? You're turning red.

_Bella stutters while looking at the sand by her feet._

Bella: I…you..y-you're…you're not wearing…you're naked!

_Awkward silence follows._

**The lack of clothes would be the one thing I would hate about being a werewolf. Any ideas for more scenes? I am thinking about doing one about Rosalie…or maybe Charlie.**


	4. Scene Four

Scene Four:

_Int./ Charlies House/Anytime_

_Charlie is on the computer playing solitaire when Bella walks up to him._

Bella: Hey Ch-Dad…um I'm going to go upstairs for a moment but Edward should be here soon. If he comes could you answer the door? _Charlie grunts and Bella pats his shoulder. _Thanks.

_The doorbell rings and Charlie gets up to answer it. He opens the door and see's Edward smiling._

Charlie: Bella isn't available right now.

Edward: Okay..um could I come in and wait for her then?

_Charlie steps aside and Edward walks in repressing a smile._

Charlie: Just don't …never mind.

_Edward sits down on a couch and Charlie joins him. Charlie glares at Edward while Edward ignores his glare._

Edward: How's work?

Charlie: Fine.

Edward: Mmmm. _Edward looks at the ceiling._

_A crash and a muffled 'ouch' comes from above and Edward flinches as though he wants to go up there._

Edward: _Mumbling to himself _What's she up to now?

_Bella comes down the stairs with her hand wrapped up in a towel. Edward tenses and Charlie sighs._

Charlie: What happened?

Bella: Oh..um this…well I tripped on the cable of my computer and fell. I'm fine but I think I need a new computer.

Edward: You're bleeding.

Bella: What? _Nervous laugh _Me bleeding? This? No…this isn't blood. I'm fine. Not hurt at all. Just a paper cut.

Edward: Let me help you.

_Edward lifts her hand up in the air and unwinds the towel. Her hand is soaked with blood and there are several small cuts on it. He picks her up and carries her to the bathroom where he sets her down on the bathtub. _

Edward: What were you saying abut a paper cut?

Bella: Fine. _She looks upset that he didn't believe her lie. _I cut it on the glass on the computer screen.

_Edward chuckles and bandages up her hand with super human speed._

Edward: What am I going to do with you?

Bella: _Ignores question. _Hey…how'd you do such a good job? I thought Carlisle was the doctor.

Edward:_ Laughs _I went to medical school too, you know.

Bella: Sorry…I forgot. _Blushes. _I don't normally forget things about you.

_She winces as he tightens the bandage._

Edward: Sorry.

_Charlie knocks on the door and opens it without waiting for a reply. When he sees them, he scoffs._

Charlie: I'm going to be on the computer. Remember the rules. No closed doors and you are not allowed in her bedroom.

Edward: Yes, sir.

_Charlie humphs and leaves the room. Bella looks at Edward with a grin._

Bella: What do you want to do?

Edward: I don't know. Whatever you want to. Why? Were you thinking of something?

Bella: _Grins wider. _I was thinking about showing Charlie the wonders of youtube.

_Edward raises his eyebrows questioningly. Bella pulls him up and towards the computer that Charlie uses. _

Bella: Hey Cha-Dad. Have you heard of Charlie the Unicorn?

_Charlie does a double take._

Charlie: What?

Bella: _Takes over the computer and pulls up a video. _Let me show you.

_She presses play and then runs off with Edward. Charlie begins to watch the short animation with horror._

_When it is done he gapes at the screen._

Charlie: _To himself. _Do I really remind her of…

_He shakes his head and walks off. In another room Edward and Bella giggle._

**Everyone must see Charlie the Unicorn to understand. That is so funny. I love candy mountain. Review!**


	5. Scene Five

Scene Five

Int./ Forks High School/Day

_The hallways are filled with people wearing pinks and red. There is a lot of noise and bustling around._

Jasper: It will never end…the emotions…_moans._

Alice: Don't worry, the day is only so long.

Jasper: _moans again. _Their hormones are out of control. So many emotions…so much lust…it's driving me crazy.

Edward: _glares _You think you have it bad? I have to read their minds as well as yours. I can sense their shallow emotions just as well as you, so stop thinking about them.

Jasper: Easier said than done.

_Alice pats his hand and Jasper sighs._

Alice: _softly. _Do you want to fake sick?

Jasper: No. I'm not like Edward.

Edward: _looks annoyed. _Hey! I don't skip all the time. Just enough to be healthy.

Jasper: As I said…I'm not like Edward. I can survive one day, right?

_Jasper suddenly shudders and Edward stops moving. Alice looks at them comcerned._

Alice: What is it?

Jasper: Uck. _Shivers. _Huge break-up at four o' clock…someone is in extreme mental anguish. Her emotions are crazy, and the other person feels guilty but lustful for someone else. The object of his affections is watching this almost gleefully…it's horrible. There are too many soap operas in this room.

Edward: That's not the least of it. Their thoughts are…_he bits his lip and looks thoughtful _graphically disturbing. Humans are horrible….other than Bella of course.

Jasper: Are you kidding? Her emotions are like a bulldozer. When I'm around her I can't even-

Edward: Shut up, Jazzy.

Alice: Hey! _Hits Edward playfully. _Only I can call him that.

_Jasper bares his teeth in pain at the same time Edward flinches._

Jasper: Maybe cutting wouldn't be so bad…

Edward: _through gritted teeth _I can't. Bella would be alone, and I couldn't let her be ambushed by Mike.

Jasper: _turns to his wife_ Alice?

Alice: Sure. _Looks cheerful. _I told you that leaving was best. I don't know what you were thinking when you decided to come today.

Jasper: Bye, Edward. Happy Valentines Day! _Winces as a couple next to him kisses._

Edward: Shut up. _Glares at a freshman who is staring at Lauren's legs. _

_Jasper and Alice leave and Edward is stuck in the bustling halls alone._

Edward:_ muttering _I hate this holiday.

**A/n: Short. Ich weiss. Review, bitte! Danke!**


	6. Scene Six

Scene Six:

Int./Dark room/Time unspecified due to the lack of windows

_A group of vampires are all gathered in a large room._

Marcus: This is crazy. I can't believe you are making us-

Aro: Quiet! _Points a stick at his chest. _If you don't shut up right now I will force you to baby-sit Jane and Alec for a month.

Jane: I don't need to be baby-sat! _Crosses her arms._ I'm now three centuries old; I think that I can look after myself.

Aro: _Glares at her. _Silence!

Caius: _Approaches Aro. _Aro, my friend. I don't think it is wise to keep playing this game. It is making you act very…

Aro: Evil? _Laughs manically. _I know. That's the point. Oh, and if you call me that name one more time I will curse you.

Caius: Anything you say.

Aro: _looks around at the group of cloaked vampires. _Does anyone else have a problem?

_There is a silence and no one says anything. _

Vampire #1: Um…yes. _Raises hand hesitantly. _Who told you about Harry Potter?

Aro: You must not mention his name in my presence! _Glares at him and raises his wand. _Crucio!

_Jane sighs and begins to stare at the vampire as he writhes on the floor. As Aro lifts his wand, Jane stops looking at the man._

Jane: _turns to Aro. _Was that good enough?

Aro: Lovely, Bellatrix.

Vampire #2: Hey! I thought I was Bellatrix!

_Jane glares at her and the vampire begins to gasp on the floor in pain._

Vampire # 2: Fine! _Pants. _You can be Bellatrix. Stop!

Aro: You may stop, Bellatrix. _Laughs at the sight of the vampire on the floor. _This one is a filthy traitor anyways.

Vampire #2: What? _Looks around shocked. _I have no idea what you mean!

Aro: Oh yes you do, Narcissa. Wasn't it your husband who failed to accomplish any small task I gave to him?

Vampire # 2: My husband? _Looks nervously to the vampires artound her who are all backing away. _I don't have a husband. I never betrayed you! Please!

Aro: _laughing _Don't lie to me, Narcissa. _He walks over to her and pats her shoulder. _Remember, I can read minds…I am quite skilled at legitimacy.

_Vampire #2 stares at him with shock and the rest of the vampires look unsure about what is going on._

Aro: Do you know what I do to traitors?

Vampire #2: I'm not a traitor!

Aro: _Hisses angrily. _I torture them!

Jane: May I? _Steps out willingly_

Aro: No, Bellatrix. I have other plans for her. _Turns to a hooded figure. _Wormtail, got take her off into the graveyard and give her to the giants.

_Vampire # 2 is dragged off kicking and screaming by a few other hooded figures as the first one leads them out._

Vampire # 2: _sinks her fingernails into the floor. _Stop! No! I didn't do anything! No!

_The screams are heard into the distance as the door closes._

Caius: Aro, please stop. This is insane.

Aro: I told you to call me the Dark Lord!

Caius: I'm sorry…Dark Lord.

Aro: Say my name like you fear it!

Caius: _looks confused _Aro?

Aro: No, you idiot! Voldemort!

Caius: I really am regretting showing you that new series. Role-playing doesn't suit you.

**An: Kicked off the computer…more later.**


	7. Scene Seven

Scene Seven:

Int./Bella's Room/Night

_Edward is sitting on the side of Bella's bed and humming a song. Bella turns over in her sleep and begins to mumble._

Bella: I don't want to.

Edward: _leaning towards her. _What don't you want to do?

Bella: _moans. _Please, no! Don't make me.

Edward: _begins to look slightly concerned _I'm not making you do anything, love.

Bella: Don't force me. _Begins to toss. _I can't…please!

Edward: _puts his hand on her forehead. _It's okay, Bella. I'm here.

Bella: No, _pushes him away clumsily. _I can't. You can't make me take it.

Edward: _looks frustrated. _Who is making you do what?

Bella: I…can't…don't want to…no…please…I don't want…

Edward: Bella!

Bella: I'm not ready yet! I can't do this, Edward.

Edward: _A look of comprehension and horror spreads across his face. _Bella, you don't have to choose this life.

Bella: I can't go through with this. It's just too hard…I need more time! I have to get ready…there is so much to do before…

Edward: Shh, love. You will have more time. Don't fret.

_Edward begins to hum and Bella's mumbled die down until she is silent._

Next Morning:

Edward: Rise and shine, Bella. It's time for school.

Bella: _Moans. _I don't want to get up for school. I'm so tired.

Edward: Tired? _Places his hand to her forehead. _Are you sick? I can't tell if you are running a temperature because you are always warm to me.

Bella: No, I'm fine. _Sits up and rubs eyes. _Just tired.

Edward: You normally aren't tired in the mornings. What's wrong?

Bella: I dunno. I suppose that I just had a bit of a restless night.

Edward: _grinning. _Me too.

Bella: _smiling _Yeah. I bet you did.

Edward: _suddenly looking more serious. _Bella, what were you dreaming about last night?

Bella: Why?

Edward: You were talking again.

Bella: _covers her mouth _Oh, no! What did I say?

Edward: You said…well it seemed like you didn't want to go through with me biting you. And Bella, before you protest…I want you to know that I am fine if you choose not to. Better than fine actu-

Bella: _covers his mouth _Edward! I wasn't dreaming about anything to do with biting, and my opinion hasn't changed on the matter.

Edward: _confused _What were you dreaming of if not being changed?

Bella: _blushes _Math finals…I forgot to study.

**AN: I suggest that you reread the dream part and think of it as math finals coming up. Whatever though…you are prob. Busy.**


End file.
